Counselling and Psychotherapy with Caryn Nuttall, Providing:
A UKCP accredited counsellor and psychotherapist with my own small, personal and friendly counselling practice in Central London
Counselling London:
Counselling Home | Relationship Counselling / Couples Counselling / Marriage GuidanceMy aim in therapy is to help the couple communicate; for each to listen and to understand what the other is saying. It's surprising how many of us don't. Very often problems occur when false assumptions are made with each partner having expectations that are not communicated to the other. Rather than talk, one partner might start to withdraw, turn off sex, and the domino effect of the breakdown begins. The key to rectifying this can be through effective communication and a willingness to listen and to understand. Couples' counselling can be short-term work. The sooner the problems are addressed the better the chances of working them through. It is common for one partner in a relationship to be reluctant to see a counsellor, but in my experience they most often change their mind after the first session. The best time to start counselling, either individually or as a couple, is when one partner first starts to realise that they are withdrawing from the relationship. Frequently one partner may have been silently withdrawing from the relationship over an extended period of time, and then seemingly out-of-the-blue as far as the other is concerned, they announce their wish to separate. This news often comes as a shock to the other who had not picked up on there being such major problems. At this stage they often experience their partner as cold, withdrawn and unprepared to communicate. This can be because the withdrawing partner may have had years to prepare themselves for the dismantling of the relationship and have done the grieving, and experienced the possible feelings of guilt, privately and silently. The other partner meanwhile is left in emotional turmoil believing they have been living a lie. They cannot understand why their partner had not flagged the problems earlier so that they could have negotiated and to worked through their issues together. Relationship counselling can cover various sorts of relationships. It can cover couple counselling, relationships with children, parents and friends. It also covers extra-marital affairs, or relationship issues in the workplace such as bullying. Counselling for other types of relationships varies according to the presenting problem, but low self-esteem is usually a common denominator. BBC2 television filmed a series on love poetry in which I was invited to appear. An excerpt appears below. Debbie Stanley and Andrew Lincoln enact a couple in D.H. Lawrence's poem Intimates. This clip shows Andrew reciting the poem to me in my consulting room. The next clip is of Andrew reciting Hugo William's poem Saturday Morning. It may help you recall how things likely once were for you, and could be again. Below is the complete half hour BBC2 film from which the above clips were taken. You might find that one or more of these poems resonates with how you are currently feeling. |
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